He knows his wife is always horny, so he decides to get her something to keep her occupied while he was gone, so she wouldn't start screwing someone else.

He went to a store that sold sex toys and started looking around, but didn't find anything, so he started talking to the old man behind the counter and explained his situation.

“Well sir, I don’t usually mention this, but there is the ‘voodoo dildo," the old man said.

“The voodoo dildo?” the businessman asked.

The old man reached under the counter, and pulled out an old wooden box carved with strange symbols. He opened it, and there lay a very ordinary-looking dildo.

The businessman laughed, and said, “That's just is an ordinary dildo!”

The old man said, “But you haven’t seen what it’ll do yet.”

Old man pointed to a door and said “Voodoo dildo, the door.”

The voodoo dildo rose out of its box, darted over to the door, and started screwing the keyhole. The whole door shook with the vibrations, and a crack developed down the middle. Before the door could split, the old man said, “Voodoo dildo, box!”

The voodoo dildo stopped, floated back into the box and lay there, motionless.

The businessman said, “I’ll take it!”

The guy took it home to his wife, told her it was a special dildo and that to use it, all she had to do was say, “Voodoo dildo, my pussy.”

He left for his trip, satisfied that things would be fine while he was gone.

After he’d been gone a few days, the wife was unbearably horny and remembered the voodoo dildo. She lay down, placed the box between her legs, and said, “Voodoo dildo, my pussy!” The voodoo dildo shot to her crotch and started pumping. It was great, like nothing she’d ever experienced before.

After three orgasms, she decided she’d had enough, and tried to pull it out, but it was stuck in her, still thrusting. She tried and tried to get it out, but nothing worked. Her husband had forgotten to tell her how to shut it off! So, she decided to go to the hospital to see if she could get help. She put her clothes on, got in the car and started to drive to the hospital, quivering with every thrust of the dildo. On the way, she had another orgasm that nearly made her swerve off the road, and caught the attention of a policeman, pulled her over.

He asked for her license, and then asked how much she’d had to drink. Gasping and twitching, she explained that she hadn’t been drinking, but that a voodoo dildo was stuck in her pussy, and wouldn’t stop screwing her.

The officer looked at her for a second, and then said, “Yeah, right. Voodoo dildo, my ass!"