Then she turns to her class and says, "Today we're going to learn about the meaning of definitely. Definitely means that something is assured and there is no chance of doubt it'll happen. Susie, can you give me an example of definitely?"

Susie says, "When it thunders it will definitely rain,"

The teacher replied, "No, sometimes we hear Thunder but it never rains."

Billy then said, "My team plays this weekend and they'll definitely win."

The teacher corrects Billy, "No, your team could lose this weekend. They're best players might get hurt so they won't win."

Little Johnny raises his hand and asks, "Teacher, is there such a thing as a lumpy fart?"

"No, Johnny," she replied.

"Then I definitely shit in my pants,"