The Frenchman says, "When I make love to my wife, I wine and dine her, then I massage her, and then we make love on a bed full of rose petals. She is so happy that she floats a foot above the bed."

The Spaniard says, "I serenade my wife with my guitar, and then I whisper romantic poems in her ear and then we make wild and passionate love. She is so happy she floats a meter above the bed."

The Irishman says, "That's nothing, mates! I grab my wife, bend her over the bed, fuck her in the arse, and then when I'm done I walk over to the window and wipe my dick on the curtains. And then my wife hits the roof."